Writing Academy

Writing Academy

Welcome to Writing Academy
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Form to Enroll:

Please give me little bit of your story, an example of your writing. I will level you and put you into a class (A, B) Don't get upset, your going to be critiqued throughout all of this so if you can't handle results do not sign up.

So the form is:

Writing example:
Name:
What level you think you are ( A is the highest B is medium):

I will give writing tasks daily, I will then critique them and give grades by the end of the week

I hope you all enroll!

Class A:

PeanutButterEggies

Class B:

PumaEdenblue9
CarnationCamryn
Zoey<3dogs
TitanicLiz
Fluffy

Writing example: http://www.bearvilleplayground.com/t2214-disappear-by-eden
Name: PumaEdenBlue9
What level you think you are ( 3 is the lowest, A is the highest B is medium): A-B

Writing example: Kelsey is a golden doodle dog. She has just turned 1. Kelsey ran into another dog named Beck, Beck had just turned 1 also. Beck is a competing dog which means that he is strong. Beck thought that Kelsey was the one for him. A few days later Beck asked Kelsey to date him. Beck dated Kelsey for 5 years. Then Beck asks her to marry him on the day that they started dating.
Name: Zoey!
What level you think you are ( 3 is the lowest, A is the highest B is medium): b

I will give writing tasks daily, I will then critique them and give grades by the end of the week

I hope you all enroll!

Class A:

Class B:

Class 3:

Writing example: http://www.bearvilleplayground.com/t2228-the-island-of-nicole#25500
Name: CarnationCamryn
What level you think you are ( 3 is the lowest, A is the highest B is medium): B

Writing example:
As Me And My Mother Pulled Up To The Barber Shop With Sky Blue Lights And Blue Glittery Windows, I Knew It Was Going To Be Bad. This Place Wasn't Really What I Was Looking Foward To. A Lady Came Out And Helped Me With My WeelChair As I Struggled To Get Unto The Steps. She Kept Smiling At Me, Which I Thought Was Kind Of Akward. She Brung Me Into The Main Room Where I Saw Girls Like Me, Waiting To Get Their Hair Cut, Begging Their Moms To Take Them Home, And Even Rolling On The Floor, I Tried To Control My Weelchair When It Went Full-Speed Into The Wall. My Head Went Straight Foward In The Hard As Rock Wall. I Tried To Lift My Head Up, But I Couldn't Feel Anything. I Felt Like I Was Trapped.

Name: Jaliyah
I think I Am a, A
Thanks [:

Please don't get upset

Eden: I'm going to say B
Zoey: B
Camryn: B
Butter: A, just uhh stop with the caps on each word LOL <3 ;D

I'm going to leave out class 3 guys, i don't wanna be mean (:

Task: Your task for today is to write a news report based on a recent news topic. So anything that happened lately, write a news report on it. A good way to start is " LATELY" or " RECENTLY". You got 2 days to complete this! Once your done please post it here so I can save it to your folder. Thanks!

For class A: Your task is to also include townies opinions on the story, other peoples point of views.

The Phenomenon at Madison Square Garden
On April 9th, 2012, Easter Sunday, a phenomenon happened in Madison Square Garden! The New York Knicks were down by 9 points against the Chicago Bulls with about 3 minutes to play. The Knicks went on a 9-0 streak to come back! The part that I am about to report to you about is mind-blowing. There was 20 seconds left on the clock, Carmelo Anthony coming up the court losing by 3 points, Carmelo passes it to Steve Novak for a 3 pointer, in and out! Tyson Chandler hits the ball back to Carmelo Anthony. ‘Melo shoots it with 11 seconds to go! Bam! Carmelo Anthony drained a three pointer to tie the game! Madison Square Garden goes wild! Derrick Rose, of the Chicago Bulls, runs up the court to try to get a shot off to win the game. Nothing but air! Overtime here we go! Tyson Chandler wins the tip against Joakim Noah! Up the floor comes Carmelo Anthony, who passes the ball to J.R Smith. J.R makes the jumper! Derrick Rose runs up the floor and makes in a layup. J.R again! Another jumper! All of a sudden, the Knicks are down by four. Carmelo Anthony had a burst with intensity to the Garden! Carmelo ran up the floor with a layup! It is 99-97 Chicago Bulls are winning. Carmelo shoots a three pointer with 8 seconds to go! Swish! Carmelo and the Knicks scream, jump, and dance! There are still 8 seconds. The Knicks play terrific defense and come up with the win on Easter Sunday!
How do you think about this win? I think its the best Easter Sunday I ever had!
There is my task!

I LOVE that Eden, it's excellent. I'd say maybe you can pop a little question at the end, and that's all I can critique. You could also add a title at the beginning. A +, I loved this!

Okay, I'll work on that now I'll edit my post! Thank you so much

**EDITED

You see the difference? We can see your writing to an audience, great! Thanks Eden!

Yeah, its a lot better with the question, LOL!
No, thank YOU for loving it
When will be the next task?

Tomorrow or soon

Okay!
Should I do the Class A one of how the fans think of this?

Yup if you want that would be great!

Okay I'll start it now xD

Fans and Coaches Point of View


Some fans might say Carmelo Anthony is a ball hog, some say he’s just plain good. Some fans I interviewed thought Carmelo shouldn’t have taken the last shots. They said he was too much of a ball hog. Another group of fans who I interviewed thought he’s a superstar, so he should have taken the last shots. In their words, they say “Carmelo is a superstar; they wouldn’t have won if it wasn’t for him.” The other fans thought it would have been more exciting to see someone else make in the winning shot. The coaches of the Knicks thought that Carmelo was very unselfish for giving Steve Novak the shot, not keeping it for himself. Mike Woodson (The Knicks Head Coach) said, “Carmelo is a superstar, we should rely on him to take the big shots, not the other players.” Tyson Chandler said, “My teammates and I know Carmelo is a great guy, and player, and he likes to take the big shots, so we let him.” Iman Shumpert said, “Carmelo is a great player, he is a superstar, I rely on him 100% and stand by him 100%, so does the rest of my team.” Some fans may disagree with the coach and players, some may agree, but that’s their opinions. What do you think about Carmelo Anthony? Do you think he’s selfish or just a plain superstar?


there you go

An Easter Miracle By:Zoey Recently, my sister went to a volleyball tournament, she was the spiker of the volleyball game. Her job is very important,everyone relys on her. She and her team was up against the hardest team there,they started the game. My sister started the game off, she had spiked. Then, suddenly they passed it back over. Then her friend jumped and hit the ball as hard as she could. They scored 3 points in less than 2 minutes. Then it was the last 60 seconds of the game and they were down by 1. She spiked the ball as hard as she could. The ball went down after 3 seconds in the air. Then a miracle happened. Her friend ‘helped’ the ball go over the net. She had won the game with her team and it was a true Easter miracle.[u]

The Weather Changes...

Well, recently in my state and states/countries its been very warm climates and late spring early summer weather. Not all of this weather has been good, there has been tornadoes, hurricanes,floods, and just bad rainstorms. But, luckily I think we all survived all this crazy weather. Now, this week and last week has been early spring weather. My point is it has been getting warmer and warmer! Don't get your hopes up yet, this week, next week, and maybe the week after that it is supposed to get winter weather or at least late fall weather! I've heard news reporters, regular citizens, and celebrities on tv and in my neighborhood say things like,"This is ridiculous!" and,"Can't summer just come and leave winter and fall alone?!" A lot of people in my state and in the world are complaining. Hopefully, our summer comes fast and will be hot! So, if you are experiencing this kind of weather I recommend you keep your warmer clothes in your house just a little bit longer. Would you use my recommendations?

Lol I don't know about this one

Zoey: It was good, but your sentences are too short. You can add lots of detail in a sentence, try using semi colons. He was reading a book; Fantasy. Also try using more punctuation, you could join two sentences together by using connectives, such as however, whereas, on the other hand eg.. or, you could just us a comma .

She was the spiker of the volleyball game,her job is very important to the winning of the game.her job is very important, everyone relys on her.

I rate it B, good job!

Camryn:

hurricanes,floods, and just bad rainstorms.

You don't put a comma before an and:

Hurricanes, floods and bad rainstorms.


Now, this week and last week has been early spring weather.

Now, during these two weeks early spring weather has arrived.

A lot of people in my state and in the world are complaining.

A lot of people around the world are complaining

Overall, I loved your piece of work!
I'm going to rate it a B, very close to A.

Zoey and Camryn, please rewrite your work using my suggestions&corrections.

Eden:

I think you could use some better conectives, let's get rid of and. You could use some comparison,

lot's of people thought Katy done very well WHILST others thought she was a pile of garbage.

Also, we could use some metaphors!

For example, her room was a junkyard.
Her home was a prison.

[The first thing] is a [second thing]
get it?
When you do tests in school, MANY people are looking for connectives, metaphors and more. Including them gets you higher grades!

Overall I rate it a B, close to A though Good job Eden. If you want you can rewrite it too with my suggestions&corrections

Hai.

Writing example:http://www.bearvilleplayground.com/t589-the-explosion-carried-on#5482
Name: Liz ; TitanicLiz♥
What level you think you are ( A is the highest B is medium): Uhh... A? Maybe between... :3

Lizzy: B ;D Hehe welcome to the school!

Melly, I really want another task!! I love to write ;D