everyone click this please!!!!!!!!!!!

My story (this is fake) well
chapter one:
I wake up with my little sister Elmya holding me. I think of how my mother never talks to us, and my father never is home. I think of my dog Jesse. I wake up Elmya and we start to pack, for the escape into the forest. I am a really good at bow and arrow, but sadly my sister can't fend for herself. My dog, myself and my little sister Elmya are going to live in the forest and escape to high land, which would be better than here. I am Karian by the way. I think i should go get some things to trade in for a lighting proof tent. Comment for more!!!!!!

Really good! More

More!

Well it is 4:00 i traded some stuff for a tent. I went into my garden and got some stuff and put it together and that was our hair shampoo and conditioner and soap. I packed as much as i could fit into my two bags i got some old blankets and took them aswell. I threw in my 3 jackets, my one leeather jacket, my bow all of my arrows, my jeans my shorts and all of my pants, all of my shoes. I needed an umbrella too. I needed to eat too, i laid out Elmya's pjs and mine too. I helped her into the shower and made sure we made this shower the best one. We eat our dinner in silence, we finish all of it. I finish packing putting some food, and 6 canteens. we get the dog food and put it in his backpack. I better get into bed but after all of the lights go out we set out. comment for more (:

More!! You are an amaZAYN writer zoey!! (:

I like it but, a word of advice, don't change a thing. You're a really good writer.

Zoey, this is SUPER fabulous, when i write stories, i can never keep them serious, they all have to be really weird lool.

I hear elmya getting out of bed, we make sure we have everything we need. We leave the house, and we make our way to the Meeting Place, of my friend Kylen he is tagging along with us. Well, i kind of like him, and he kinda likes me back. we are basically Elmya's mother and father, i dont know why Elmya thinks of him as a father, but i guess because we both treat her like our own, but she isn't just my own, she's our's. comment for more (:

It reminds me of the hunger games......but ur obsessed so thats ok. Good story though do t change it. Dont change it.

Chapter 2:
We meet him there and we ask which direction we should go, he also has a really old compass. He says he brought an ax so he could build a cottage, which i think was a great idea, we head out into the forest and Kylen starts to chop down wood while i make a bow and arrow out of wood for Elmya to start with, along while we set up camp. He says he would bring back some dinner too. Elmya and i find a stream right next to where we set up the tent i lay out all of the blankets inside of the tent, and Elmya sets up the fire... comment for more

Gud

We hear footsteps, we run inside the tent, and it turns out it is Kylen, he brought us some chicken he caught in the forest, it is getting kind of cold and it looks like it is going to rain.. i hear thunder so i make sure i get everyone inside of the tent i get our backpacks and i make sure i have Jesse inside the tent too, there is one window in this tent, which i open and zip the front of the tent up. I have everything that we need to last a few days before we go hunting again. Elmya is really cold and looks a little pale, we put her to bed even though it is the afternoon. I have some pain medicine and she says her stomach feels like it is punching herself. I tell her go to bed and i make sure she is covered up with all of the blankets and i remember i brought 2 tiny pillows so i let her rest, and Kylen and i talk about how the cottage will be done in about... comment for more (;

WOWOWO!,moreeeeeeeeeeee

more!

2-3 days, That means he is going out to finish it right now, i try to take Elmya out to get warm, but she won't cooperate. I think of what herbs will help her, but i should wait until Kylen will comeback so i can get some herbs, he eventually comes back and he says that the cottage is ready for us. We pack up everything and he carries elmya to the cottage. i set up a bed for elmya right by the fire, she takes some of the medicine and falls right to sleep. Kylen has crafted some chairs and it is a beautiful house nicely crrafted. I fix some food for Elmya for when she wakes up. Kylen made a table and i set up all of the dishes for them, and it will be a great little dinner. We are having some fish and berries. I forgot too....

More!!!

I forgot to pick the berries for dinner, I tell Kylen that I will be right back. I go out and find some blue berries, I hope this dinner will be good. I return back to the house and see Elmya sitting down coughing, I run back to where the tent was and fill up the 6 canteens and Jesse seems to be loving on her, I want this to be the best life for Elmya just like I didn’t have a great one. She hopes one day mom and dad will find us, but that might never happen, she thinks of Kylen as her father and I am her mother, I guess one day I might really like like Kylen as a boyfriend or a husband even. I return back home, and Kylen has something for me I wonder what….

more!

He gets on one knee and I think oh dear then he asks me to marry him! I tell him, look Kylen its to early to marry each other we are only 17 maybe in 3 or 4 weeks when I turn 18? He says ok, but I will be waiting for the perfect time. A week passes and it starts to snow, Elmya still isn’t better but she is getting there. I make sure she is warm and I fix her some soup that I made earlier. She eats really slowly and she says her stomach doesn’t hurt as much as it did… I hear a knock at the door… comment for more

more

here is the new version so it isn't like the hunger games as much: I wake up and it is just a regular Australian day, with my little sister Elmya holding me. I think of how my mother never talks to us, and my father never is home. I think of how the government wasn’t there anymore because they thought there was no people in the country anymore. I think of my dog Jesse. I wake up Elmya and we start to pack, for the escape into the rainforest. I am a really good at bow and arrow, but sadly my sister can't fend for herself. My dog, myself and my little sister Elmya are going to live in the forest and escape to high land, which would be better than here. I am Karian by the way. I took the lightning proof tent that my mother had and took it with us.

I went into my garden and got some stuff and put it together and that was our hair shampoo and conditioner and soap. I packed as much as i could fit into my two bags i got some old blankets and took them as well. I threw in my 3 jackets, my one leather jacket, my bow all of my arrows, my jeans my shorts and all of my pants, all of my shoes. I needed an umbrella too. I needed to eat to, i laid out Elmya's pajama’s and mine too. I helped her into the shower and made sure we made this shower the best one. We eat our dinner in silence, we finish all of it. I finish packing putting some food, and 6 canteens. We get the dog food and put it in his backpack. I better get into bed but after all of the lights go out we set out.

I hear Elmya getting out of bed, we make sure we have everything we need. We leave the house, and we make our way to the Meeting Place, of my friend Kylen he is tagging along with us. Well, i kind of like him, and he kind of likes me back. We are basically Elmya's mother and father, i don’t know why Elmya thinks of him as a father, but i guess because we both treat her like our own, but she isn't just my own, she's our's.

We meet him there and also our cousin Ralein was there, then we ask Kylen which direction we should go, he also has a really old compass. He says he brought an ax so he could build a cottage, which i think was a great idea, we head out into the forest and Kylen starts to chop down wood while i make a bow and arrow out of wood for Elmya to start with, along while we set up camp. He says he would bring back some dinner too. Elmya and i find a stream right next to where we set up the tent i lay out all of the blankets inside of the tent, and Elmya sets up the fire.


We hear footsteps, we run inside the tent, and it turns out it is Kylen, he brought us some chicken he caught in the forest, it is getting kind of cold and it looks like it is going to rain.. i hear thunder so i make sure i get everyone inside of the tent i get our backpacks and i make sure i have Jesse inside the tent too, there is one window in this tent, which i open and zip the front of the tent up. I have everything that we need to last a few days before we go hunting again. Elmya is really cold and looks a little pale, we put her to bed even though it is the afternoon. I have some pain medicine and she says her stomach feels like it is punching herself. I tell her go to bed and i make sure she is covered up with all of the blankets and i remember i brought 2 tiny pillows so i let her rest, and Kylen and I talk about how the cottage will be done in about 2 or 3 days, That means he is going out to finish it right now, I try to take Elmya out to get warm, but she won't cooperate. I think of what herbs will help her, but I should wait until Kylen will comeback so I can get some herbs, he eventually comes back and he says that the cottage is ready for us. We pack up everything and he carries Elmya to the cottage. i set up a bed for Elmya right by the fire, she takes some of the medicine and falls right to sleep. Kylen has crafted some chairs and it is a beautiful house nicely crafted. I fix some food for Elmya for when she wakes up. Kylen made a table and i set up all of the dishes for them, and it will be a great little dinner. We are having some fish and berries.

I forgot to pick the berries for dinner, I tell Kylen that I will be right back. I go out and find some blue berries, I hope this dinner will be good. I return back to the house and see Elmya sitting down coughing, I run back to where the tent was and fill up the 6 canteens and Jesse seems to be loving on her, I want this to be the best life for Elmya just like I didn’t have a great one. She hopes one day mom and dad will find us, but that might never happen, she thinks of Kylen as her father and I am her mother, I guess one day I might really like like Kylen as a boyfriend or a husband even. I return back home, and Kylen has something for me I wonder what…

Chapter 3
He gets on one knee and I think oh dear then he asks me to marry him! I tell him, look Kylen its to early to marry each other we are only 17 maybe in 3 or 4 weeks when I turn 18? He says ok, but I will be waiting for the perfect time. A week passes and it starts to snow, Elmya still isn’t better but she is getting there. I make sure she is warm and I fix her some soup that I made earlier. She eats really slowly and she says her stomach doesn’t hurt as much as it did… I hear a knock at the door…

Ralein opens it, it is Kylen. Elmya is better I tell him. It is first snow fall for Australia in 30 years because of the Ice Age. I make sure everyone is warm, and then I feed everyone. I eventually turn 18 and so does Kylen, so then he asks me to go outside, he takes Ralein and Elmya. We go into some great part of the rainforest it looks magical. He gets on one knee and asks me if I would marry him, I say yes! He said we would have a wedding soon, and we hear footsteps, and even more of them I don’t know what will happen, I say to everyone and I have my bow just incase something bad will happen…

your story is really good so far(:
Your a very talented writer and your stories
usually oooze character and adventure!
Keep up the Good stories Zoey(:
Also i've love to see more(:!

I see creatures, creatures! i don't know what this means, this must be an enchanted kingdom, Kylen carries Elmya and Ralein to the cottage we run as fast as we can.. and we eventually make it inside of the cottage and we hear barking so i guess their evil dogs? They eventually crash down the door, and they say: Hello Queen Karian, and King Kylen, I don't know how they know our names.. i ask them who are you they respond...